Thursday, December 15, 2011

I Wanna Hold Your Hand

I remember when the girls were little and everywhere we went I would hold their hands.

It was so automatic that I didn't even have to tell them to hold my hand. I would just reach out to them, they would take hold, and away we would go.

I miss the constant hand holding now that they are more grown up. 

Sometimes when I'm walking with the girls, I will still stretch out my hand to them and they, I am so grateful, will still take hold and away we will go.

Yesterday, while I was walking through a parking lot with Miss Emma Bean was one of those times. She was walking and chatting with me, so I reached out my hand, and I will tell you it is a little nerve wracking now because each time I reach out to hold one of the girl's hands, I wonder if this will be the time when one of the them will say they are too old or too cool (YIKES!) to hold their Mom's hand, but she didn't. Miss Emma Bean took hold and then asked me if I remember how I would always hold her hand when she was little.

Oh how I remember! I remember how itty bitty my girls' hands used to be. I remember their pudgy little fingers held safe and secure by my fingers. I remember that they were occasionally sticky! I remember well how sweet it was to hold their little hands! sniff

Then Miss Emma Bean asked me why I used to make them hold on to just my finger.

I laughed! She remembered correctly.

I didn't actually reach out my whole hand when they were little. I only reached out my pointer finger. They would grab it and I would then be able to wrap the rest of my fingers around their little hands to hold them securely.

I explained to her that, when she and her sister were little, if they tried to let go of my hand in a store or in a parking lot because they decided they wanted to run off after something that caught their attention, I would still have a secure hold on them and they couldn't run off into trouble or danger. I held their hands that way to keep them safe! That and their tiny little hands struggled to hold my big hand when they were that little. Holding one finger was much easier for them. 

I told her, "I loved holding your hands that way. But now you are more grown up and know not to run off in parking lots and you are very responsible in stores. Now we can just hold hands the regular way."

Miss Emma Bean smiled at me and said, "I think I want to hold your finger."

She held my hand that way all through the parking lot. I have never been so happy to have had to park the car far away from the door!

That was a gift that brought pure joy to this Mama! 



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