There are days when all is calm and I move gently along. All is peaceful, I am focused on my destination.
I know that even through the loss, God is in control. My very dear friend Amy, who died this past June, is in the presence of Almighty God. She is rejoicing and whole! My heart floats on still waters.
Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
And then there are days when the water laps gently, rolling over my feet softly with a quiet sorrow.
She's not here to share the first eggs from our own little flock of chickens.
She's not here to call or text when I want to share some news.
I miss her smile.
My heart aches.
Psalm 42:5 Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance!
And there are days when the waves swell a little higher and sorrow pushes a little stronger.
There will be no coordinating of our schedules this Fall.
There will be no praying for our children together.
There will be no first week of school breakfast with her.
Tears of grief fall silently down.
Lamentations 3:21-26 This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed,(even by grief!) because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. "The Lord is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I hope in Him!" The Lord is good to those who seek Him. It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.
But then, there are days when the waves crash hard! They wash over! They work to pull me under!
Tears fall fast and hard during a meeting with women who lead the women's ministry at my church. She would have been here. We would have met for coffee before hand. We would have prayed for and discussed this ministry together. We worked through our suffering together in Bible study last year.
My heart is overwhelmed!
John 16:33 "These things I have spoken to you, that in Me (Jesus) you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world!"
Daily I grieve the loss of my friend Amy. There is so much I miss. Some days are much more painful than others, but I will not allow grief to get the final word! God gets the final word! And His word brings peace and hope and comfort!
Faith-filled grieving is an offensive move toward healing and reclaiming our lives. It is grief brought to Christ, where He in turn gives us the mercy and grace we need to reclaim life, one bit at a time. The alternative to faith-filled grieving is grieving without God. When that happens we descend into hopeless grieving rather that hopeful grieving. One allows the thief to steal our hope, the other puts hope in the Good Shepherd! - T.J. Addington's book When Life Comes Undone
Even in grieving, my confidence remains in the One who promises to comfort, the One who understands the suffering, the One who promises an eternity with Him for all who choose to accept His gift of salvation!
And to be honest, I also take a little comfort in this...