Bean's little fish, Señor Bubbles, has not been looking so good. He frequently rests at the top of his bowl and much of his lovely color has drained away. We did not expect him to make it through the first day in his new home. Bean's heart was broken.
I am sad to say that my first response to her broken heart was annoyance. It's only a fish...you've only had him fourteen hours...It's only a fish. Yep, these were my rational responses. Oh yeah, Mommy of the year material right here!
When my sweet Bean approached me, yet again, to tell me how concerned she was about her fish, the third time in thirty minutes, chin all aquiver and tears in her eyes, I finally recognized that my girl needed me to help her deal with her very real sorrow. This was not time to be rational, this was time to love her and teach her how to cope with her grief.
It took me a while, but I finally saw it, my big girl...my little girl, needed her Mommy. This was important. Thank the Lord for opening my eyes!
I held my girl tight and we had a heart-to-heart, tears included, about what she was feeling. I told her this little fish was very lucky that he got to be hers even if it was for just a little while and she was very lucky that she got to take care of him for that little while.
The meaning of what I had just said hit me. Be thankful for the time we get with those we love, instead of being bitter for the time we won't get. Wow! I stood convicted.
I expected the entire day to be a struggle for Bean, but surprisingly she told me what I said had made her feel better.
Her little fish, who created all the drama, has not died. However, he isn't doing much better either. Bean watches over him and loves on him—as much as you can love on a fish! If she could, she would hold him and hug him and tell him everything would be OK because she will take care of him.
I expect that one who can love a little fish and nurse it through poor health is learning to exercise a compassion muscle that will be a blessing to everyone she cares about her entire life. It has been amazing to watch Bean be so caring. I know that it's all for a silly little fish, but what a beautiful life lesson.
Once again I am reminded that God will use hard things in life to bring out good in us! And I am grateful He brought this Mommy to her senses so that I could have a part in it!
Christine
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